If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Randomize
