nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
