Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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