We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
you win again, gameday.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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