North Korea, Best Korea!
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Randomize
