I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
