it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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