Apparently you make a good broom.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize