she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
