hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
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