it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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