I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
