we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
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