Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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