There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
