That's intense
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Randomize
