I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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