Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
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