He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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