he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
