Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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