i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
