'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
