i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
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