I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
