So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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