He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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