Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
its liver damage thursday
Randomize