Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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