and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
We are all done wearing pants today
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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