Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
