Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
