she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
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