No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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