so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
