I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
