no you cant smoke seaweed
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
