I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
