so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
