I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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