He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize