yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
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