We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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