I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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