So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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