Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
