the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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