Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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