Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
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