If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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