i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
