That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
