She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
