I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
