in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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