Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Someone shattered a urinal.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
