Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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