I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
