i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
