All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
