Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Randomize
