The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
