dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Randomize
