just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
