angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
